my healing journey : Step : 08.02.2022 …

My Healing Journey 08.02.2022 …

Active Stabilisation Session (6) …

I pre-booked this session the minute we finished the Active Stabilisation Session (5) …, working it around YFC_J afternoon availability and leaving enough time for my recovery, which I am afraid never happens these days.

That said, I am still eager to keep going with this part of the programme because I am learning new skills every session.

Preparation & Setting Up …

Because I no longer need to self fund, for at least the next 12 months, I didn’t get a bill, yaaay … but as soon as the session was over I did receive the details for my next appointment. We are still sticking with landline telephone calls for now.

What’s New …

Since my last session with YFC_J I have been struggling a lot …

My resting heart rate is moving up and up and my body is really struggling and often in crisis. I feel so sad and at my limits right now. I’m very close to giving up …

What’s Important …

The day after my last session I was so poorly I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep living like this. It’s very sobering to be this poorly and unable to even have a telephone appointment without becoming severely more unwell for it.

And the rest of the month has just Co tinge in the vein … too sick to do anything … too sick to be truly bothered …. very sad about it all …

How / What Have I Been Doing Since My Last Session …

I have a few things to achieve before this appointment. So, I’ve got myself a small to do list. See below:

• • set up a hospital ‘needs’ document (week 1-2)
  • set up an annual review appointment with Dr Rudman (week 3)
  • get the option for home GP visits (incase and for when I may need them) (week 3 & week 4)
  • try and wok through the embarrassment around being sick (now ad forever)
  • eat smaller meals (all the time)
  • have more compassion with yourself (all the time)
  • …

I managed an appointment with my GP, which went very well indeed. I’ve done a bit mental and PDF work around going into hospital. I’m not  able to breath and be mindful much as it all feels like work.

#week 1 (10.01.2022-16.01.2022) : the day after my previous appointment was horrific, I wasn’t sure how I’d get my spirit up again being so poorly. I had planned to start the medical care document that I’d planned but the week of being poorly just ran away with me.

#week 2 (17.01.2022-23.01.2022) : I’m still struggling so I’ve decided to swap my ‘to do’ list around. This wee’ I will eat smaller meals, have compassion for myself (actually swapping my list around is an act of compassion’, do some self acceptance work.

#week 3 (24.01.2022-30.01.2022) : another week gone … and all I have achieved is a new prescription for my really bad pain days …

#week 4 (31.01.2022-06.02.2022) : …

#week 5 (07.02.2022-13.02.2022) : …

The Active Stabilisation Session (6) …

On the day of the session I was super poorly. I’d had a night of horrific stomach issues and heartburn and pain … pain … pain …

So I felt very poorly and subdued during the meeting. That said, YFC_J was extremely sensitive and understanding and we discussed me maybe getting access to a beta blocker in order to take away some of the strain on my sickly poorly body. I will ring my numerology team as this has been suggested as a treatment for migraine and YFC_J says it will double up for orthostatic issues and high heart rate and maybe give my body a bit of ease.

After The Active Stabilisation Session …

I feel totally wiped out and extremely sad …

The Here & Now …

But, as soon as the call was over with YFC_J I rang neurology to make a telephone appointment. No answer so I left a message but if they don’t return my call I will ring again in a few days.

The Day After …

Boy do I feel unwell. I feel as though I’ve been exercising, moving house, drinking alcohol and overeating.

What Next …

Get a prescription for beta blockers. Breathe. Be easy. Control food amounts. Listen to resting heart rate (RHR) and only eat when my RHR is below anaerobic threshold (AT).

I will document as much information as I can in the next blog post in ‘my healing journey’. Please be aware that any information I share will always follow data protection guidelines and will never be enough for you to substitute it for your own programme

Can You Help With Costs …

Please go to my ‘fund my healing journey …’ page to donate.

 fragmented.ME xXx