my healing journey : Step : 23.11.2021 …

My Healing Journey 23.11.2021 …

Active Stabilisation Session (4) …

I pre-booked this session the minute I finished the Active Stabilisation Session (3) …, working it around YFC_J afternoon availability and leaving enough time for my recovery, which never seems to happen these days.

The original appointment was booked for 19.10.2021. However, I have been so severe I simply cannot speak and hold any information for 5 minutes let alone 45 minutes. So I have had to rearrange this appointment.

I am still eager to keep going with this part of the programme.

Preparation & Setting Up …

As soon as I received the bill from my active stabilisation session (3) I also received the details for my next appointment, which will continue as landline phone calls for now. This suits me.

What’s New …

Since my last session with YFC_J I have been aiming to implement everything we discussed in our last session. Which, by the way, I’m struggling to fully recall. If I am honest it felt like a counselling session because of the emotional struggles I have been having of late. It felt like I used the time to simply let a lot out.

This said, I am definitely becoming kinder to myself on an internal level. I am finding compassion within for my situation.

What’s Important …

It’s extremely important for me to actually realise how sick I am and how my sleep does not offer me recovery like a normal healthy person’s sleep does. So I need to set up regular ‘rest & recover’ sessions for throughout my day. I will be aiming for one a day, then moving to two a day, then three, and hopefully by the time I meet up with YFC_J for this session #4 I will have made the three a day. Sadly, I haven’t managed to made anything regular.

How / What Have I Been Doing Since My Last Session …

I have been kinder to myself.

I have had a ‘rest & recover’ session on many days. Not that I felt like I’ve had a choice, my body has simply made me rest and hopefully that rest enabled recovery.

I have used the acupressure mat and my sensate (vagus nerve stimulation) device more regularly unless I have had a severe migraine (after this next session I will aim to continue to use these treatments even on migraine days).

On a physical aspect, I have started to split my bath & hair wash and other things I struggle to do in one go will also be so it up. I think this is part of my acceptance of how life limitations the illness is.

#week 1 (20.09.2021-26.09.2021) : I have struggled this week but I managed a bath and a hair wash, separately of course and I managed the acupressure bed three times and sensate every day.

#week 2 (27.09.2021-03.10.2021) : awful time … I’m not even able to eat without PEM …

#week 3 (04.10.2021-10.10.2021) : …

#week 4 (11.10.2021-17.10.2021) : it is so so very hard being this poorly … I don’t know how to survive right now …

#week 5 (18.10.2021-24.10.2021) : I am so severe right now I had to cancel and rearrange my scheduled appointment …

#week 6 (25.10.2021-31.10.2021) : …

#week 7 (01.11.2021-07.11.2021) : …

#week 8 (08.11.2021-14.11.2021) : …

#week 9 (15.11.2021-21.11.2021) : …

The Active Stabilisation Session (4) …

As can be seen / noted by looking at the above I have struggled to keep my head above water let alone implement anything on a regular basis. This is because of new symptoms.

These symptoms are:

• • Choking or loosing the ability to swallow.
  • Orthostatic issues.
  • exhaustion and energy issues.

YFC_J educated me on the blood volume element of ME and again on the autonomic system. He discussed with me how both of these are affected and impacted with ME, especially as the condition worsens.

So some of the things that I can do are to control my fluid levels and my electrolyte levels with regular fluid intake plus an electrolyte daily. As well, I can help myself by lessening the carbohydrate heavy meals and to begin to eat more regular but smaller meals in order to help regulate my body.

We also looked at adding grief to the kindness and compassion and actually allowing the feelings involved with the illness to come out.

The whole idea is to find small changes that work for me personally and then aim to assimilate them into daily practices.

I need to add :

• • rest & recover
  • acupressure bed
  • stretches
  • migraine device
  • sensate device
  • compassion work
  • grief work
  • fluid intake
  • electrolytes
  • small regular food
  • relaxation / media tattoos using my ōura ring app
  • …

After The Active Stabilisation Session …

I wanted to get as much written down as I could before I forget it. So, I frantically made these notes. However, I think maybe next time I will try and tape the session to help with memory and also lessen the struggle to document everything to help with recall.

…

The Here & Now …

I don’t feel as unwell as other times. I also feel very motivated to do and be all that we discussed.

…

The Day After …

I was too ill the following day to update.

Today, two days later, I’m still feeling super unwell. But I have been taking electrolytes and more water, which should be helping.

…

What Next …

I will continue to aim to apply the little list above.

I will document as much information as I can in the next blog post in ‘my healing journey’. Please be aware that any information I share will always follow data protection guidelines and will never be enough for you to substitute it for your own programme

Can You Help With Costs …

Please go to my ‘fund my healing journey …’ page to donate.

 fragmented.ME xXx