fragmented.ME …
the notes …,  uncovering ME …

uncovering ME : rituals …

I have started a 52 week course with Daily OM called A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self and I hope you will join me by reading the posts that are born from this course.

They can be found under the mind * body * soul category as a subcategory entitled ‘uncovering ME …’.

I have wanted to write my own story for such a long time and I have never done it. The reason for this I am sure will be discovered and discussed through the 52 posts to follow.

So please join me …

. . . uncovering ME . . .
. . .  rituals  . . .

introduction …

I will be using this space to free write and post my unedited thoughts, words, and scribbles. So, I am sure there may be errors that appear in the text. I do not need you to tell me about these errors as this will all be part of the process and I hope you can look past this.

rituals …

By now — with your writing practice growing, and the numerous prompts that are given with each lesson — you may be finding you have many more things to write about than just one essay per week. This is a wonderful place to be. (I am seriously struggling due to ill health and so I’m not in this place yet, I am actually writing less and less …)

You’re likely discovering that stories can be found anywhere and everywhere. Keep jotting down all your ideas, and write through the one that inspires you the most that lesson. Some weeks you’ll want to explore difficult memories and thoughts, and others you may gravitate toward things that are lighter and more fun. Either way is perfect as life is so much more interesting when it includes all the ups and downs.

This week will be no different as we explore our rituals and habits. Rituals can be essential for helping us bring order to our everyday lives.

Rituals help form our identities, both as individuals and within the various groups that we belong to. We can pass on wisdom and stay true to our values through our rituals. Truly rituals help make our days more interesting, provide us with comfort and security, and help us live a richer, more fulfilling life.

Questions/Prompts to Guide Your Writing:

can you think of a ritual your family always followed during a special holiday …

what are your earliest memories of this habit or ritual …

whitsuntide … weeks before my mum would take us to for new clothes and shoes and headbands. I loved new clothes and my whitsun dress, cardigan, and shoes were always the nicest clothes I owned.

what ordinary rituals did your family have …

perhaps you always got ice cream after baseball games, or went fishing on Sundays … do you feel like it brought you closer as a family …

We regularly went to the Lake District for weekends straight from school and then back to school the Monday morning. I’m not sure it brought us closer as a family but I did learn how much I loved Cumbria and how my desires for living in Cumbria were very similar to my dad’s. Me and my dad were very much alike.

did you have anything you did with your friend group as a child that could be considered a ritual now that you think about it later in life …

how did this routine come about …

Me and my best friend always, every single school night, walked and walked around our locality.

sometimes rituals and traditions can feel confining …

was there a ritual you were forced to follow as a kid that you hated … is there one like that in your current life …

Visiting my grandparents …

do you have a work routine …

for example, do you always grab a cup of coffee before you start … have the radio on in the background … have a certain routine that you follow every day … what happens if you don’t follow it …

I am afraid I can’t work. Too poorly. But, I do have a kind of poorly routine and I hate hate hate to be in bed all day not matter how sick and so for as long as I can still walk I will make it from the bed to the settee. I know it’s basically just geography because I’m still stuck in too poorly to go out but it makes me feel better and more normal. Whatever ‘normal’ is.

tell us about your health routine and why it’s important to you …

do you have an exercise routine, special dietary habits, or mental wellness practices …

That’s a loaded question. I don’t have any health … seriously …

I do take vitamins and minerals and I try to get up and do a few steps regularly. But that’s it!

are there any rituals or traditions you used to do that you miss …

I used to do Jane Fonda aerobics and I walked everywhere. I so miss that girl.

what small rituals could make your days more special …

(perhaps lighting a candle, or playing soothing music, or wearing something special) …

One ritual is my early morning latte, in bed. I struggle with the stairs, they do actually make me sicker. I live with a partner who only changes hinges when he wants or needs and because the power balance is so off I feel I can’t get my needs met on this one. So I will not stay downstairs with my early morning latte.

do you wish you had special traditions with your family …

what difference could it make in your relationship …

I wish I had an entirely different dynamic with the family I have left. So there’s lots of sadness around this question that I can’t delve into  right now …

… without health, life is not life; …
… it is only a state of languor …
… and suffering-an image of death …
… François Rabelais …

in summary & in conclusion …

This subject and its corresponding question have triggered my sadness around what I don’t have and how my life is. Mainly due to illness and power dynamics and so I can’t spend too much time on this. However, as I always say I may come back to this one … so watch this space.


The Essay : rituals …

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –

And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –

I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.

— Emily Dickenson

… the end …

Please feel free to contact me to share your outcomes or with any questions you may have.

 fragmented.ME xXx

My birth name is Denise, but I’m know as Bella to those who love me. I have a first class honours degree in education & psychology and a strong passion to keep learning and educating others ... I have severe ME/CFS and lots of other chronic illnesses and I started this blog as an expansion to my instagram page, where I advocate for chronic illness. I am married and have two grown up boys, or should I say young men. I have three gorgeous grandchildren, one boy and two girls. And despite being chronically sick and housebound I am mostly happy. 🥰