fragmented.ME …
catch up ...

catch up : 08.03.2021 …

Fortnightly Catch Up 08.03.2021 …

I have decided to write a journal blog post, every other Saturday. It will be like a mini catch up, but on a rather personal level. It’s going to be a post where I spill myself out. It will include the most poignant bits from each day. So some days will be much longer than others and some days might just have a MiA … (missing in action) because I just couldn’t get anything down due to either genuinely being MiA … due to serious illness or just because I was unable to do anything on that particular day.

What’s New …

Each journal blog post will have a ‘what’s new’ section where I will share the new highlights of my previous fortnight or what’s to come.

I’ve subscribed to the Yorkshire Fatigue Clinic, STEP Programme.

What’s Important …

Each journal blog post will have ‘what’s important’ section where I will share the important highlights of my previous fortnight or what’s to come.

I will have to invest most of my spare energy into this new STEP Programme, but I will document and share as much as I can with you.

Diary (22.02.2021-07.03.2021)

Monday …

I am alive but not doing very well all …

I keep crying. I don’t usually get down about being ill but I am of late. I think it might be the effects of finding out that everyone else will gradually come out of lockdown and begin to work their way back to their previous normality. And I’m still stuck here, actually getting sicker.

Tuesday …

MiA

Wednesday …

Heard from my youngest son today. It might not seem like much but the last time I had a proper conversation with him was November last year. It cheered me up no end …

Thursday …

Last year I went to my GP to see if I could get a referral to a specialist ME/CFS clinic out of our locality. My GP was happy to refer me but my clinical commissioning group refused the referral. I was refused on the grounds that they felt the service could be provided in-house.

A year on, and I know they can’t. And so today I have applied to go as a private patient to this clinic, which is obviously not ideal because it’s going to cost us but I really don’t know what else to do …

I have had a few ping-pong emails backward and forward and I know the lady who runs the clinic feels I should be going through the NHS and not having to pay. But I don’t know if I have the health, or the will power, to appeal even though she is 100% sure the appeal will be approved.

Friday …

I set the ball rolling for the referral to the specialist and ME/CFS clinic.

We had an Italian take out for tea. The food must have been too rich for me because I started to get very poorly and had to go to bed.

Saturday …

MiA

The food was definitely not good for me because I woke up with a massive migraine.

In bed, very ill, all day … but I did get up for The Voice at 20:30 … I love the human voice, and if I could have one talent it would be to be able to sing. So anything on TV involving singing I watch it.

Sunday …

Today I woke up feeling very hungry and wanted something real, big and tasty, to eat for my breakfast. I don’t normally eat breakfast, or lunch come to think of it, because my body usually tells me that it just cannot cope with food so early. But today was different. And so I ate and paid the price heavily. I actually couldn’t even stand up after eating, my migraine felt like it was rearing its head again, and I felt like I might be dying, again …

Sunday 28.02.2021 ...

I’ve probably still got a migraine … but because the pain had died off somewhat, and the neurological symptoms I get with migraine were weakening too, I really thought I was much better.

The two highlights of my day today have been. (1) my husband sent me a text message with some images of our garden’s pretty spring flowers. And, the other highlight (2) was when my older son sent me some videos of my two girl grandchildren (aged 2 years and 13 years) dancing for a tiktok video. I miss not being able to see them and have them over to stay.

Monday …

Today I made the final decision that I would be joining the Yorkshire Fatigue Clinic STEP programme and accordingly I went and booked both myself and my husband onto the Introductory Workshop.

I also set up a few new page templates on the website, to document the new programme, and by the end of the day I felt really poorly again. This is exactly the reason I need the STEP programme in order for me to STOP and consolidate my level of sickness and not keep making myself sicker.

Tuesday …

MiA

Needed to just sleep and rest all day … big migraine and big PEM …

Wednesday …

MiA

I absolutely needed a bath so much today. I’ve been sweating and feel really yuk. But alas, I simply wasn’t well enough …

Thursday …

MiA for most of the day. But in the afternoon I had a very much needed bath, washed my hair and cut about 4” of it again, no idea why it grows so much when I’m so sick but it does …

Friday …

MiA … this has been one of the sh**test weeks ever! I’m too sick for take out too …

Saturday …

MiA … I wanted so much to go out in to our garden today and take some photographs of the beautiful spring flowers that are popping up. But I couldn’t, I was simply just too sick.

Sunday …

MiA … today I made the effort to have a very small wander from our front door to the side part of our garden, here are some of the images I took …

spring flowers in beautiful Cumbria 07.03.2021 ...

Oh and I wrote a blog, reflections & ramblings, have a read and let me know what you think.

We’ve had some lovely sunsets of late, so I’m going to take some pictures over the next few days and post them on here.

 fragmented.ME xXx

My birth name is Denise, but I’m know as Bella to those who love me. I have a first class honours degree in education & psychology and a strong passion to keep learning and educating others ... I have severe ME/CFS and lots of other chronic illnesses and I started this blog as an expansion to my instagram page, where I advocate for chronic illness. I am married and have two grown up boys, or should I say young men. I have three gorgeous grandchildren, one boy and two girls. And despite being chronically sick and housebound I am mostly happy. 🥰