the essay : how others see you …

The Essay : h o w  o t h e r s  s e e  y o u  . . .

. . . uncovering ME . . .
. . .  how others see you  . . .

The Essay : how others see you …

ME, me & him (him could well be you, and hopefully as you read this you will use your insight and ask yourself have you ever felt, thought or even been like him).

“ME/CFS is a serious, chronic, complex, and multisystem disease that frequently and dramatically limits the activities of affected patients.” — Institute of Medicine 2015

“The physical symptoms can be as disabling as multiple sclerosis, systemic lupus erythematosus, rheumatoid arthritis, congestive heart failure and other chronic conditions.” — National Institute Health & Care Excellence (NICE) 2007

Before, when I wasn’t severe but was maybe at the poor end of mild or the beginning of moderate I could hide my illness to most outsiders and even disguise it to those who knew me as just another migraine. Which feels super shocking to me now.

Why would I feel the need to do this?

But hey, this is what I did. I am just being honest with you.

I would work part-time, claiming my job was just a hobby, push through pain, migraines and sickness to the point of even pretending I wasn’t in pain or suffering, and then leaving the job because I was too sick to fulfil the role and to carry on working whilst claiming that it was other necessary family commitments that were taking me away from the job.

When … Rest … Recovery … Acceptance … was what what I really needed.

Yet at this time, he (you) told me …

all you ever do is complain about how poorly you feel …

WTAF I thought I was hiding it … and hiding it well …

Just goes to show. Doesn’t it?

Bringing things up to today’s time and we have been in lockdown and he has been working from home for over one and a half years. You have now seen the real severity of my illness. The actual lived experience of it. I couldn’t hide it.

He now tells me …

I cannot believe how sick you’ve become …

WTAF I’ve always been this poorly … I was hiding it well even though previously I did voice how I felt … it fell on deaf ears and eyes I’m afraid …

So, whats the point of this share?

To highlight that I clearly do not, or am not able to, be seen in the way I actually am.

o r

He (you) only realised, or accepted, I was as sick as I was when he saw it with his own eyes. And, I only behaved, or looked, sick when I really could no longer pretend or disguise it.

… 😓 …

… the end …

Please feel free to contact me to share your outcomes or with any questions you may have.

 fragmented.ME xXx