catch up : 28.06.2021 …

Fortnightly Catch Up 28.06.2021 …

If this is your first read of my fortnightly catch up I do suggest that you read the previous fortnightly catch ups …, at the very least the previous two, because so much has happened that you may not understand some of my entries without the history.

I’m gonna get out of bed every morning … breathe in and out all day long. Then after a while, I won’t have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out. And then after a while, I won’t have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while. — Sam (sleepless in Seattle) …

* Don’t forget whenever you see MiA … it means I have been unable to journal anything on that day due to serious illness or just because I was unable to do anything, except keep my head above water, on that particular day.

What’s New …

My husband is almost back to normal. However, from my extra exertions I am getting sicker by the day. I have had almost ten days now doing nothing but I am still deteriorating.

I have recently started to use an acupressure mat for pain, and a stress ReleaZer for improving my HR variability.

What’s Important …

I am very very severe right now and may very likely miss lots of days, so please expect this and bear with. However, I will aim to post an image, or a quote or something useful on my MIA … days, rather than nothing.

Diary (14.06.2021-27.06.2021) …

Monday …

I woke today feeling terrible. But, my tablets worked for a while. That said, the morning onslaught feels like way too much for me to bear right now. I am seriously struggling physically and emotionally.

When I feel like this, I need a plan, something to work towards otherwise it is very easy for me to give up.

What will that plan be … I’ve absolutely no idea but I’m working on it …

Tuesday …

I am in so much uncontrolled pain I can barely function. By this I mean I can barely engage in a yes / no conversation with my husband let alone have a GP call. But, I am afraid this is what I think is needed a trip to the doctors. Maybe more investigations. A medication review, because what I have isn’t working for the level,of pain I have right now.  

I have messaged my social working chasing my PA award and when this is likely to be implemented. I have also suggested that we maybe cannot wait much longer and I might have to accept the normal social service help, which is going to be difficult but maybe easy for them because I’ll probably cancel a lot.

I feel so helpless and disheartened too.

Wednesday …

MiA …

I don’t think I could be any sicker and still stay alive …

People fear death even more than pain. It’s strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend. – Jim Morrison

Thursday …

Today I woke at 07:00 feeling less poorly than yesterday, but still quite unwell.

My husband has a medical review but I am staying home, and having another day in bed. We both feel it’s for the best.

B U T

I feel mean. I feel sad.

But I also feel too poorly to push and probably end up with another migraine.

Friday …

MiA … another migraine again … FFS …

Dad You Know: those with migraine hear, see, smell and experience the world very differently all the time … not just during a migraine …

…

Saturday …

MiA … again …

Sunday …

MiA … so poorly today but we have ordered a Sunday roast takeout so will definitely feel much better at 15:00 LoL … yes no matter how sick I am (except a vomit migraine) I can always be tempted with a Sunday roast.

Just before our Sunday roast collection I began to feel extremely unwell …

Monday …

MiA …

Tuesday …

MiA …

Wednesday …

MiA …

It’s my boy_2 birthday today and I am very sick again …

😓

Thursday …

MiA …

Friday …

MiA …

Saturday …

Still MiA …

Today I will try and catch up on my blog because I’m behind because I am so poorly right now. That said, if I can’t then the ‘work …’ essay might have to get posted empty with me playing catch up or I may just chat into the iPad and post it exactly as I speak it … that will be fun for you LoL …

Sunday …

MiA …

another day in bed …

 fragmented.ME xXx