fragmented.ME …
the notes …,  uncovering ME …

uncovering ME : connections …

I have started a 52 week course with Daily OM called A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self and I hope you will join me by reading the posts that are born from this course.

They can be found under the mind * body * soul category as a subcategory entitled ‘uncovering ME …’.

I have wanted to write my own story for such a long time and I have never done it. The reason for this I am sure will be discovered and discussed through the 52 posts to follow.

So please join me …

. . . uncovering ME . . .
. . .  connections  . . .

introduction …

I will be using this space to free write and post my unedited thoughts, words, and scribbles. So, I am sure there may be errors that appear in the text. I do not need you to tell me about these errors as this will all be part of the process and I hope you can look past this.

*** I was too poorly to complete this task but I’m quickly, today 02.08.2021, doing the pre-notes, but no essay yet.

connections …

There is no other area in a person’s life that has as much bearing on happiness or life satisfaction than their connections to other people. We, as a species, are hardwired for connection — studies have shown that the happiest people on earth tend to have fulfilling relationships and social lives. Literally having a good moment of connection with someone sends “feel good” chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin to our brains.

This desire for connection can be so strong that most of us have made the mistake of hanging on to a relationship longer than we should have at one time or another. These relationships can make for good stories, often with wisdom-filled endings (that good old clarity of hindsight), and you’ll find several of the prompts below will guide you in this direction.

It’s also beneficial to explore what you’ve learned in these relationships in order to discover things you may not be interested in for future relationships.

Journal in the direction you’re drawn toward today. If you come back to this lesson another time (next week, next year, or ten years from now), you’ll likely have very different thoughts to explore.

Questions/Prompts to Guide Your Writing:

think of a relationship in your past (family, romantic, friendship, professional, etc.) …

how would your life be different without that connection … tell a story of this connection …

In 1980 maybe 81, I don’t want to think too deeply about it all incase it triggers me. But, in that year when I was 17 years of age I was stranded in Paris, France due to u foreseen issues in the UK. As soon as I realised I went to the police to ask for help and safety for a few hours. They put me in the care of Mario a uniformed taxi driver, who went on to sexually attack and rape me.

Today, aged 59, I am 100% sure had this never happened, had I been protected and offered safety, I would not be as sick as I am now. I believe it set off a dysregulation in my flight / fight system that never recovered.

who is/was your best friend …

what made the connection so strong …

SV, JS, and some online ME sufferers are my best friends. If I could anybody as WAS my best friend then could not possibly have been because I would never break friends with my best friends.

best friends stick around, are loyal, and are here to stay …

is there a relationship you spent “too long” in …

what made you keep trying?

Definitely, a person (MT) who I genuinely thought was a loyal best friend. But NO she was as disloyal and manipulative as you could get.

I stuck around because I was conned and probably co-dependant …

what is the favorite friendship story of your life …

what makes the story great (really dig deep into what kind of connections you felt) …

Netting Margaret, the girl I intended to travel the world with.

what would a deeply connected relationship look like to you …

what would your role be in that relationship …

loyalty … equality … no judgement … support …

l o v e

what about work relationships …

can you create more connections there …

I’m afraid I can’t, so don’t, work due to severely ME.

if you are on social media, does it make you feel more or less connected to people (there are no wrong answers here, everyone is different) …

why do you think this is …

I love social media, it’s my lifeline and support network where I’ve met so many likeminded people … I feel connected because of social media …

Are you in a current relationship that might not be serving you …

(note: I’m not suggesting you rush out and end the relationship, just explore this in writing for now if that feels right to you).…

possibly …

… without health, life is not life; …
… it is only a state of languor …
… and suffering-an image of death …
… François Rabelais …

in summary & in conclusion …

I am having a very difficult time, health wise, lately and it’s having a huge impact on my mental health too.

So, I’m skipping much of this work and may update those not completed as I go along, as and when I am able, or even next year as they come up again.


The Essay : connections …

Sorry I have been too poorly to actually do any website stuff and I expect it’s going to continue with the way I’m feeling …

… the end …

Please feel free to contact me to share your outcomes or with any questions you may have.

 fragmented.ME xXx

My birth name is Denise, but I’m know as Bella to those who love me. I have a first class honours degree in education & psychology and a strong passion to keep learning and educating others ... I have severe ME/CFS and lots of other chronic illnesses and I started this blog as an expansion to my instagram page, where I advocate for chronic illness. I am married and have two grown up boys, or should I say young men. I have three gorgeous grandchildren, one boy and two girls. And despite being chronically sick and housebound I am mostly happy. 🥰