uncovering ME : work …

I have started a 52 week course with Daily OM called A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self and I hope you will join me by reading the posts that are born from this course.

They can be found under the mind * body * soul category as a subcategory entitled ‘uncovering ME …’.

I have wanted to write my own story for such a long time and I have never done it. The reason for this I am sure will be discovered and discussed through the 52 posts to follow.

So please join me …

. . . uncovering ME . . .
. . .  work  . . .

introduction …

I will be using this space to free write and post my unedited thoughts, words, and scribbles. So, I am sure there may be errors that appear in the text. I do not need you to tell me about these errors as this will all be part of the process and I hope you can look past this.

work …

The aim for this week’s essay is to explore your career (or non-career) choices, mining those experiences for insights and stories. As this is such a large area of many people’s lives and there are many angles to consider, you may want to take your time with this. There could be a goldmine of personal nuggets just waiting to be remembered. Use as many or as few of the prompts below as you like. Start by jotting down ideas as you read through the questions (and don’t discard any of these initial thoughts, even if you don’t use them this week — they may be valuable as we move forward in the course and beyond)…

Questions/Prompts to Guide Your Writing:

list as many past jobs that you’ve held as you can think of …

• • hair salon
  • typing clerk
  • nightclub bar work
  • bar work
  • chamber maid
  • waitress
  • secretary
  • nursery nurse
  • order picker
  • paper factory
  • grape picking
  • secretarial temping
  • lunch time supervisor
  • company director/secretary
  • teaching assistant
  • exams invigilator
  • doctor’s surgery rectionist
  • appropriate adult
  • separated parents information program (SPIP) practitioner 

I think that is a list of everything that I have ever done work wise except maybe for mother and housewife and housekeeper, which are huge in themselves.

are there any particularly funny, horrifying, or heartwarming moments you strongly remember from any (or all) of them …

• • hair salon – while at school i worked as a Saturday girl (Thursday & Friday after school (16:00-20:00) and every Saturday (08:00-18:00) plus full time during school holidays). I also went on to work in the salon full time for a few months until I got my next job as a typing clerk.
    • one really funny experience, which wasn’t funny at the time, was when I made drinks for a salon full of staff and their ladies and somehow I’d not fully placed the tray on the side and instead of taking drinks from the end of the tray hanging off the side I took them from the stable end and eventually the tray tippled over and all the drinks went flying. No one was hurt by the way. But I was embarrassed and the owner was mortified.
  • typing clerk – typing out death maturity claim in Manchester City centre.
  • nightclub bar work – one of my favourite jobs. You got to go out, dance and get paid for it.
  • bar work – again I really enjoyed this kind of work.
  • chamber maid – hard work but still fun.
    • one of the jobs I had doing chamber mailing was in the Isle of Man during the TT races. Very atmospheric and exciting.
  • waitress (silver service) – loved doing this and met some excellent people.
  • secretary – personal secretary for three directors.
  • nursery nurse – what a wonderful job … I only left because I had an internal desire to go to France and live there.
  • order picker – just for money for France.
  • paper factory – just for money for France but providentially I met a girl whose boyfriend was one of the All Blacks and they were off to Avignon and so I had my new travel companions.
  • grape picking – the best time ever.
  • secretarial temping – back in England, just for money.
  • lunch time supervisor – to suit and fit with my family life but a great job.
  • company director/secretary – part of our family set up.
  • teaching assistant – …
  • exams invigilator – …
  • doctor’s surgery receptionist – …
  • appropriate adult – …
  • separated parents information program (SPIP) practitioner –  …

I think that is a list of everything that I have ever done work wise except maybe for mother and housewife and housekeeper, which are huge in themselves.

…

jot some of your favorites down …

Motherhood- which isn’t mentioned above but is the most rewarding, interesting, and satisfying yet exhausting job I’ve ever done.

Teaching Assistant – I did this role as a supply TA and was mostly called to support children and young people with autism and those who had profound and complex learning difficulties. It was a most satisfying and rewarding position. However, sadly I left due to being bullied by a teacher and two other TAs, shame in them. At the time I was moving from being moderately ill to severely ill and I was way to poorly to fight them and the system.

Appropriate Adult – this job was an incredible job to do and I could pick my own hours. But, I would maybe say I wanted to work between blah and blah hours and I would get a call five minutes before I was due to finish and I would end up being at the police station up to five hours after my finish time. I left, again, because of ill health.

SPIP – my final and probably my last job … and  …

are you currently fulfilled at work …

NO and sometimes YES …

if so, why or why not …

I am currently unable to work due to being sick with severe ME and I feel so unfulfilled it’s not true.

I would say that the only times I feel fulfilled are when I am advocating for chronic illness and when I write a good blog.

what is the best job that you’ve ever had …

All of them but especially those in my later years when I worked with children and young people with profound and complex learning difficulties.

And of course being a mother.

why do you think you liked it …

Firstly the actual physical environment suited me. Every room was dimmed, no perfumes allowed, peace and quiet was the order of the day. All these physical rules made my space much easier to be in without triggering my own sensitivities.

As a mother you experience so much joy and fulfilment, which I think is something that most fathers miss out on.

what is the worst job you’ve ever had …

Housewife. It’s unpaid hard work and usually very expected.

why did you take it (or stay longer than you wanted) …

Because I was married but I definitely have tackled some of those attitudes that go into making it an unpaid and thankless job.

does a part-time or full-time position suit you better …

I have always worked part-time because I’ve always been ill and I have always been the main child carer and home carer too …

why …

I have all ways been ill and I have always been the main child carer and home carer too …

what are your work values …

think of values that bring you emotional fulfillment (being challenged, helping others, influence, etc.) as well as external things that you value (high earnings, job security, having adequate time away from work, etc.) …

Because I was a single parent and also as a child given too much of a carer role then my work values must have always been first based on my health and my family environment.

what is your dream job …

I don’t have one but given my personally I think I’d be an excellent advocate if I was well and more confident or maybe a researcher of some sort.

what if you thought of your work as a calling instead of a grind (even if just for now) …

I have never ever had a job that was a grind. I wouldn’t do a job that was a grind I’d rather be poor …

are the internal values more or less important than the external things you receive …

Internal is much more important than external. I need to feel ‘right’ by my choices …

do you feel like you need to work toward a change in your career or vocation …

If only …

why …

Because sickness hinders me having any kind of career …

… without health, life is not life; …
… it is only a state of languor …
… and suffering-an image of death …
… François Rabelais …

in summary & in conclusion …

Work is a massive part of anyone’s life and sometimes, actually very often, is what defines them. But for me, always being unwell has meant that I have not been able to find myself, or define myself, through my work, or career. 

---

The Essay : work …

Work!

When I first saw this title it seemed that possibly it was something that I wasn’t going to be able to fully engage with. However, after contemplating it for some time, I realised I was thinking from a pattern of socialisation, as I tend to often do.

I was actually thinking of work only in terms of paid employment.

That said, I have had plenty of varied part time paid work, often very part time, but I would say that throughout my life my main mode of work has always been unpaid.

Being unpaid for the work that you do does not mean it is not work.

Being unpaid for the work you do is often unrecognised.

We could say that:

unpaid work is synonymous with unrecognised work …

I am 10 years of age and I am working.

Yes, working …

I find myself at such a tender age doing the job of mother. Caring for my mum and caring for my two sisters, who are aged eight and six.

And so this is where my, unpaid work, story, begins.

Taking care of my sisters for my mother who worked. Yes, we did have a father and yes, he did work too. But my mother was exceptionally clever and worked as well as my father.

I really don’t think she was cut out to be a mother. She had been abused by her father when she was younger and I think she didn’t know how to be in the family environment.

This information is not to offer excuses for her just to explain the situation.

And so it was my job to get my two sisters to school and to take care of them after school and often do simple preparations for tea and more than anything, keep the bloody house tidy …

I imagine in the era we are in now living this would be classed as neglect and abuse towards me. I am aware that when my middle sister attempted to do the same to her elder daughter social services were right on it and told her that she was giving her too much responsibility for it her age (and by the way she was much older than 10).

I also have another memory when I was at high school, probably my second year of high school but it could even have been my first.

Our local comprehensive high school was just at the back of our house. I simply had to climb over a fence in our back garden and then I was at school.

And so one day, when my mother was unable to work because she had broken her ankle, she decided that she couldn’t get up to get herself a cup of coffee and so she rang the school to send me home because she needed my help.

The shocking part of this incident is that the school did actually send me home.

I am 100% certain that today this would definitely have triggered social services involvement and would never ever be allowed to happen.

I did, by the way, pass my 11+ and I was invited to the, not so near, girls grammar school. However, my mother said why would you want to travel that far everyday to a grammar school because when you grow up all you are going to be is a wife and a mother.

I somehow now feel her thoughts were also geared towards her needing me home and that had I been allowed to go she would have had to be mother again.

shocking …

… the end …

Please feel free to contact me to share your outcomes or with any questions you may have.

 fragmented.ME xXx