catch up : 13.12.2021 …

Fortnightly Catch Up 13.12.2021 …

I am struggling so much that I have been wondering if I should end my fortnightly catch up. I do realise that it’s popular. I also realise that it offers me some perspective too but I’m just not sure.

I have decided that they are popular, I find them useful to look back on, and right now they make up the staple of my blog, so I am going to change these catch up posts to monthly starting in January.

* Don’t forget whenever you see MiA … it means I have been unable to journal anything on that day due to serious illness or just because I was unable to do anything, except keep my head above water, on that particular day.

What’s New …

My illness is still progressing …

What’s Important …

I feel like I’m struggling to carry on …

I decided that I will continue with the catch-up posts but they will become monthly. I will record my month and then I will post on the first day of the following month, which means only twelve posts next year …

Diary (29.11.2021-12.12.2021) …

Monday …

MiA …

Bloods today to check on my folate levels. I’ve been taking methylated folate for 3 months now so I need to find out if they’ve improved my levels any. If yes, then I carry on taking them. If no, then I need more tests. Please, please, be yes …

Tuesday …

MiA …

Very unwell from yesterdays exertions …

But, the good news is my folate and all other bloods are back to normal. Well, all except one of them, not sure if it’s important. I will see if the GP needs to chat to me about it.

Wednesday …

MiA …

On Monday, all I did was get dressed and go to the GP for my bloods, which took no longer than 1 hour in total, that’s including getting dressed before I went and then changing back into my PJs when I got home, and I’m still really unwell from it.

WTBH …

Thursday …

I am a bit better today. So, typical ME style I’ve crammed in too much doing. It probably isn’t too much for a normal healthy person but for me it’s way too much.

Try and guess what I did?

…

LoL

All I did was preplan 12 monthly posts, which are simply ‘duplicate’ by one press of a button and then change to the correct month names. So that’s type, January through February, and save. And boy do I feel unwell again now. Why can I not accept how poorly I really am? Why am I always planning and doing?

W I L L   I   E V E R   E V E R   L E A R N   ?

Friday …

MiA …

M I G R A I N E  . . .

surely this is still not simply because I got my bloods done on Monday … who know with ME … no one has any idea what really is happening inside our very poorly bodies …

Saturday …

MiA …

A N O T H E R   M I G R A I N E   . . .

Sunday …

MiA …

Yesterday, my husband changed the bedding so I had a bath, I felt really smelly, and I washed my hair (it’s been exactly one month since my last hair wash 😢) … so today I woke with …

A N O T H E R   M I G R A I NE   . . .

Monday …

MiA …

I feel so poorly …

Tuesday …

MiA …

Not as sick as yesterday but still too poorly to have my typical Monday restart …

Wednesday …

MiA …

Still out of action and I have to have a medicines review. WTA … I wouldn’t mind if someone monitored how sick I was and checked to see if I was alive every now and then … but all they want to do is check my pain medication usage because they think I’m a junkie. So what if I am? Anyone would be waking every day with these levels of pain.

FYI I am not against drug taking … I just feel like I am being judged and monitored rather then being cared for.

Thursday …

MiA …

Had an ESA assessment (on the telephone) … utterly shocked when I hear myself talk about the illness … I cried afterwards because I had to face a little more of what I cannot do …

Friday …

Today we’re having McDonald’s in the car in my PJs. We’ve been meant to be having McDonald’s since Tuesday I just had to keep calling it off due to severe poorliness …

I am excited LoL …

Saturday …

MiA …

Sunday …

MiA …

I am having awful awful PEM payback for the phone call that I had with DWP on Thursday …

my husband has gone to visit family today so I am alone all day … struggling so bloody much …

 fragmented.ME xXx