fragmented.ME …
the notes …,  uncovering ME …

uncovering ME : beginnings …

I have started a 52 week course with Daily OM called A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self and I hope you will join me by reading the posts that are born from this course.

They can be found under the mind * body * soul category as a subcategory entitled ‘uncovering ME …’.

I have wanted to write my own story for such a long time and I have never done it. The reason for this I am sure will be discovered and discussed through the 52 posts to follow.

So please join me …

. . . uncovering ME . . .
. . .  beginnings  . . .

introduction …

I will be using this space to free write and post my unedited thoughts, words, and scribbles. So, I am sure there may be errors that appear in the text. I do not need you to tell me about these errors as this will all be part of the process and I hope you can look past this.

beginnings …

I hope you are treating yourself with care this week after the difficult journey you may have gone through with last week’s topic of loss. If you weren’t able to make your way through the lesson, don’t worry – …

This week we will be moving on to the other end of the spectrum. Beginnings can be a beautiful thing, but at the same time, starting something new can sometimes feel scary. There is always that possibility that we won’t succeed at the thing that we’re trying. Truly, any change at all has an element of the unknown to it, and not knowing what will happen can be daunting.

Every new beginning you’ve experienced has led you to the person you are today.

Questions/Prompts to Guide Your Writing:

recall a time in your life when you made a fresh start …

how did your life change …

Actually, for the better … WoW … maybe this is a revelation ….

I so so wish I had the courage …

tell the story of a time that you tried something new …

I cut all ties and went it alone and it was the best thing. I was the healthiest, the strongest, and the best I have been ever …

do you feel like trying new things is harder for you than most people …

if so, why do you think that is …

I do believe it is harder for me t try new stuff,  to cut ties and go it alone. I have abandonment issues and the feelings that I feel are so overwhelming I cannot cope with them and so go back to the comfortable over what I know is better for you me.

think about how a beautiful relationship started …

what was the moment it began like …

I can’t answer this the way I would like to right now …

So for now I will talk about becoming a mum for the first time. It was such a wondering feeling to see this little miracle you’ve made and know that they are yours. However, it’s overwhelming to realise they are beholden to you for everything.

do you have a favorite hobby or activity …

what made you get started …

I like to write and I like to delve deeper …

can you think of a time when something bad (such as a breakup, tragedy, or job loss) ended up being the catalyst for a beautiful new beginning …

write about it …

The end of my first love. However, after its end I found d out I was pregnant and started a life of being a single parent, which was often difficult but incredibly beautiful too.

have you ever read a book, watched a movie, or had a conversation that sparked something in you that changed your life forever …

tell the story …

Eat, Pray, Love …

I kind of feel this way today …

… without health, life is not life; …
… it is only a state of languor …
… and suffering-an image of death …
… François Rabelais …

in summary & in conclusion …

The struggle is so real today …

I feel so weary of staying alive for all this nothingness …

I think that this weeks essay will have to concentrate on each new day … the beginning of each day …


The Essay : beginnings …

Every morning when I open my eyes for one blissful moment I feel nothing …

I feel no pain …

I feel no sadness …

I feel no concerns …

I feel absolutely nothing and it is blissful.

I only wish it could stay that way …

Yet, it doesn’t … it doesn’t last anywhere near long enough as I come into consciousness and the sensations meander more fully into my consciousness and they begin to overtake me.

It is then I feel pain … in my eyes, behind my eyes, in my head, on top of my head, my face, my jaw, my upper back, arms fingers, feet and toes … sometimes all over my whole body … there isn’t a place that doesn’t hurt …

oh no …

This is how I wake every single day.

… the end …

Please feel free to contact me to share your outcomes or with any questions you may have.

 fragmented.ME xXx

My birth name is Denise, but I’m know as Bella to those who love me. I have a first class honours degree in education & psychology and a strong passion to keep learning and educating others ... I have severe ME/CFS and lots of other chronic illnesses and I started this blog as an expansion to my instagram page, where I advocate for chronic illness. I am married and have two grown up boys, or should I say young men. I have three gorgeous grandchildren, one boy and two girls. And despite being chronically sick and housebound I am mostly happy. 🥰