me ME & clothes …

Wow … what a title … yep I’m going to talk about clothes, which I love but don’t actually get to wear much these days!

   … me ME & clothes …   

to be honest … 

I want to talk about this so much and at the same time I don’t want to talk about it too.

This is because, talking about it means I will face it and I have to face it …, which may not seem like much to you, but to me it is right up there on my my top ten ‘impacts’ of ME … blog post, (maybe that list should be called my loss list because that’s what it’s full of) … 

identity …

Like most women, and lots of men, I love clothes, and shoes and handbags, and jewellery too. I’ve never been much of a makeup person, my skin likes to breathe. However, for me, my earrings and necklace were equal to most women’s lipstick. And, if I ever left the house without earrings in, I felt almost undressed.

evolution …

Over the many years of getting sicker, my clothes have evolved from wearing what I loved to wear into wearing what was easy and comfortable to wear. And from wearing jewellery daily to only wearing it if I left the house.

This sadly progressed into me choosing and wearing clothes that didn’t need ironing and only wearing jewellery if I was going somewhere special.

Finally, and most devastating of all, culminating into not getting dressed and in order to save energy I found myself staying in my pyjamas, unless absolutely necessary. I never wear jewellery these days, not even my rings and watch that I used to sleep in. It all feels very cumbersome and an annoyance because of its weight I think.

the reality …

In almost two years, except for a few GP appointments and one dental appointment, I’ve not been dressed in real actual clothes. I wear PJs every single day.

This has been hard because as I said above my identity is, or was, very much tied up with how I expressed myself through my clothes, shoes and jewellery. So, not getting dress has been a real blow to me.

pyjamas …

Pyjamas, easy, comfy and cool, are now my staple clothes. I’m always on the lookout for PJs that don’t crease, or bobble when washed, look clothey when a cardigan, and maybe rarely shoes, is added. Presently, I wear joules PJ bottoms and Lucy & Yak benny tee shirts as tops, and my Lucy & Yak Sonny sweatshirts for cooler days.

lingerie …

My lingerie still has to be matching sets, always has, always will. But now it’s no padding, no wires, no hooks. My favourites are sloggi zero feel lace but they’re very expensive.

staying in …

This is everyday now so it’s close and warm PJs with slipper socks all the way. At one time my favourite staying in clothes would have been Levi 501s with a classy top and classy accessories.

going out …

If only … but if I ever do then it’s leggings, oversized t-shirt, pretty cotton cardigan, with Heavenly Feet slouchy boots and soft bamboo Lucy & Yak socks. At one time my favourite type of going out clothes would have been beautiful elegant dresses with beautiful elegant accessories.

accessorise …

These days, I always have my wedding ring on, my ōura ring, FitBit on. If I have to leave the house for any important appointments, if I can, i will put in my Lola Rose earrings and a matching / complimentary Lola Rose necklace on. I have three favourite bags to choose from, although I’ve got load more. 1 is a Lakeland leather Ambleside bag. 1 is a Yoshi leather poppy bag. 1 is a Fablou city bag (I take this if I need extra stuff like water, glasses, eye masks for the trip etc).

further posts …

In future posts I will write about different clothes and accessories that I wear in terms of their ease and comfort to wear.

in summary & in conclusion …

Clothes are so important to identity, especially in my case, and they are equally important to acceptance because people judge those who are seen out in pyjamas. Unless it’s fancy dress LoL …

That said, for some all we have the energy for is PJs, so don’t judge rashly. You never know why someone has to leave the house in their PJs over getting dressed into clothes.

And don’t judge those of us who don’t dye, or style, our hair, which is another post ‘self care & ME …’. Maybe it’s personal choice but maybe it’s because they don’t have the health or energy to spare for these things.

Whatever the case, and the reasons, the ultimate request I have is:

don’t judge what you don’t know …

a personal concluding note …

If you happen to see me out. Firstly, don’t judge that I may not be as sick as I have claimed. I may actually die the very next day. Seriously …

Secondly, if I happen to be dressed, or in my pyjamas with a cardigan and shoes, still don’t judge because you’ve no idea what it took for me to simply do just that …

 fragmented.ME xXx